John, Nigel the Triclopian & the Invasion of Earth - Chapter 1

Saturday, September 18th 2010

Neil Armstrong stepped from the landing pod.

"One small step for ..." he began.

Stupid Ideas to Dominate the Globe (that might just work) Part I: Fridge Magnets

Friday, September 17th 2010

An Artificially Intelligent Terror-Army of Novelty Fridge Magnets that take over all fridges and then provide a central command and control system to you.

All the refridgerated food will be yours!

No-one will be able to freeze food without your permission.

Just "chill out" will take on a whole new meaning.

World Domination will be yours!

Hmm.

Next plan.

Jargon and Propaganda

Thursday, September 16th 2010

Economists have a baffling way of describing common-sense things in byzantine language.

"Quantative Easing", for instance, means, essentially: "printing more money".

"Asymmetrical Information", means some people know more than others and exploit it.

Sir Augustus Holmes

Wednesday, September 15th 2010

Robo-hipster

Tuesday, September 14th 2010

Robo Hipster

Commander Quars

Monday, September 13th 2010

The dark surface of the planet was pitted and cratered.

Vast plumes of sickly black smoke rose from burning villages.

Through this terrible scene a figure strode. It was the stride of a being of exceptional nobility. The stride of a being beautiful in mind and in body.

This was a being who understood what it was to understand.

It was the stride of of a truly angelic cresture.

Then there was a flash, an explosion, a earth-rending thunderous boom. The individual was no more. Well, apart from a momentary whimper and some choice words about injustice or something.

'Woohoo! Excellent shot trooper,' said Commander Quars, admiring the handiwork of his underling. 'From this range as well.'

'Thankyou my Lord.'

'Ahh, I remember the campaign on Treyeh when I was your age. We'd pick off a dozen messiahs before lunch and still have ammo left over for the peasantry.'

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