Kak

Friday, June 29th 2012

Kak

Suggos

Thursday, June 28th 2012

Suggos

Captain UN

Wednesday, June 27th 2012

Captain UN leapt over the wreckage of the car.

The terrorists were busy preparing to kill some innocents with their Ultimate Death Ray.

"Stop!" he shouted, wielding his UN shield with authority.

The terrorists paused a moment.

"No!" they said.

"Oh, okay," said Captain UN, slumping slightly.

He turned and slowly left the scene.

Gnome Quest 1

Tuesday, June 26th 2012

It was night. This part of the city was dodgy. It was if a giant golem made of rubbish had had a battle with a creature made of old boxes and exhaust pipes.

I made my way down the street. Past a dark alleyway. Past a flickering neon sign for a pub called the Dagon's Armpit.

I knocked on the door. A little hatch opened.

"Yeah?" said a gruff voice.

"Vortog the Merciless sent me," I said.

There was a moment's pause.

The door opened. It was dimly lit inside. Just a few skull lamps providing a low, red glow.

A burly centaur in sunglasses gestured for me to go inside.

Six gnomes sitting around a table, smoking hookahs and laughing. They stopped. One fixed me with a hard stare.

"I ..." I began.

"Shut it," said the Gnome. "What's a monkeyboy like you doin' in my club?"

The Gnome tilted his chin aggressively. "You a cop?"

"I was sent by Vortog ..."

"... the Merciless. Yeah. I got that. In that weren't so, you'd be centaur feed already. This better be good."

I paused and gulped back my fear. "I bring a message from Xeriousghui in the Southlands."

"Ah, of course!" said the chief gnome.

The mood lightened.

"Any postcards?"

"No."

"Novelty t-shirts?"

"No."

The gnomes seemed sad. A message from Xeriousghui, King od the Unpronouncably Named People of the South and no gifts!

A darkness had truly spread across the land.

Life Quote

Monday, June 25th 2012

Quoth a friend today:

"Sex, Survival, Money and Death. That's what life's about. In that order."

Heroic Response to Bad News

Saturday, June 23rd 2012

It's like a party! But you're in a pit of infinite doom filled with ogre entrails, distilled angst and catshit!

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